Who among us lie

I used to be so self-righteous and always thought that I tried my best while people were the ones failing me. Well now that I think back on it, that's one major assholey reason why I used to be so (secretly) angsty...

I mean, it definitely got better over time and now while I appreciate my own strengths and note my weaknesses, I just believe that no one owes me and I owe no one hahaha. Although that old trait creeps up sometimes, and unavoidably I get disappointed, but I get over it much sooner as well.

ON A LESS SOLEMN MOTE. I MEAN, NOTE. What's a mote anyway, I only know moat.

(...just kidding I don't know what's moat either)

WEEK ONE OF SCHOOL IS OVER WOOHOO I AM A #SURVIVOR!

University life has been damn different. Seminar style teaching (uh well I had a taste of this back in ELL), three-hour lessons, afternoon classes, huge maze of a school, class participation, new friends andddd NOT forgetting aircon -- the experience so far has been amazing and slightly surreal. I wouldn't say that it's been wow, but what's there to be wow about anyway? I'm content with it hahaha.

Sleepiness definitely hasn't stopped plaguing me though! Nodding off when profs are looking elsewhere then staring wide-eyed at them when they look in my direction has been routine for me hahaha. How the hell do people stay awake.. Doing it takes all my concentration that I can't even process the info being relayed to us lor ;/ ...what? Sleep what? Earl? Earlee? Earl tea?

I prefer chinese tea, it's okay! Gonna go brew some and go on with my activities, THE NIGHT IS STILL YOUNG, YES?

Yes.

안녕!!!! 뿅

/Edit: While making sure I used the right word back there I Google Translate-d 뿅 and it gave an otherworldly translation. So to prevent any misunderstandings I would like to clarify that the word, "ppyong" is a sound effect for disappearing. Sadly, I'm not so kinky.

The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows

Mauerbauertraurigkeit

n. the inexplicable urge to push people away, even close friends who you really like—as if all your social tastebuds suddenly went numb, leaving you unable to distinguish cheap politeness from the taste of genuine affection, unable to recognize its rich and ambiguous flavors, its long and delicate maturation, or the simple fact that each tasting is double-blind.

fata organa

n. a flash of real emotion glimpsed in someone sitting across the room, idly locked in the middle of some group conversation, their eyes glinting with vulnerability or quiet anticipation or cosmic boredom—as if you could see backstage through a gap in the curtains, watching stagehands holding their ropes at the ready, actors in costume mouthing their lines, fragments of bizarre sets waiting for some other production.

Long absences forget, short absences remind

Recently came back from Social Science camp and I have to say I enjoyed it. Perhaps we weren't the most enthusiastic nor sporting of all, but looking long-term I can tell that these people are ones I'd more than willingly spend time with. And that's more than I could ask for really.

Back to the point; having been away from my family for three days has reminded me of how much I miss them. It's honestly not much to most people, but they're (my fam) such an integral part of my daily life that 1) not seeing them makes me feel a void 2) when I do see them, I take the fortune for granted. I guess everyone needs such cooloff periods from time to time to sustain relationships? Meanwhile, they can't be too long that you get used to the absence, of course.

R A N D O M Z:

#1 I got a new pillow and it's so high my neck is surely gonna break one of these days..

#2 Hooked on For The First Time by The Script. Hey sorry that I'm outdated man. I can't control the timing of my feelings!

#3 Falling in love with cats (because of Shiqi's). My nose itches damn bad cause of the fur though. I think.

#4 I want to play pool!!!!!!!11!1!1!!!

#5 I love my mom.

#6 This is

#7 getting

#8 out of

#9 hand

BYE.

The fault is not in the stars but in us, that we are underlings

Been trying to think positively for the past period! I have to say that it's took very conscious effort on my part lol, what with my habitual emo-ing. I've met a bunch of nice people recently from Social Science, been quarrelling less with mom, and in general life does seem better though so it's most likely working? Hahaha.

AND RIGHT NOW IT'S SHIQI'S BIRTHDAY WOOHOO HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHIQI I KNOW YOU'LL SEE THIS ONE DAY BE IT A MONTH LATER OR SOMETHING!! XOXOXzzz
Drew a cat on the card for Shiqi and it was terribly out of shape LOL. The initial sketch looked so cute ok.. Sigh ohwell! On another note 1st August was Tiffany's birthday yay she's 24 (in Korean age) now~

Yep this person is 24 (nah just kidding, I think she's 21 there). Also on the 5th, it'll be their (SNSD) 5th anniversary ((((: ...yes sorry I know this is boring you out and if so this is ending in 3.... 2.....

Social science's Caedo camp is coming up soon ('tomorrow' ie. on the 5th) and I'm looking forward to it! Mainly 'cause it's in school and I've always liked the SMU campus haha. Shall restrain my weirdness this time round, it scares people off; tested and proven. These are gonna be the people I'll hang out with for 3-4 years, so I honestly hope we get along.. God has it in His plans though so I'll just do my part to be approachable and considerate during this camp and trust that things will turn out right.

I got my schedule as well, along with the module I successfully bidded for! Mon to Thurs /afternoon/ lessons, HELL YEAH. /crossesfingersnexttermwillbethesame/ Gonna have time to head down to NUS to kaciao friends and eat together yay! And also Fridays to hang out w the others who matter very much as well.

Life looks good. PTL ;)