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Sorry mom. It doesn't matter who's fault it is, but that both of us are hurt. And that sucks. Is it worse that we left the house empty, or that we both left the house feeling empty?

Cryptic post: don't read if hate confusion

Everyone has their demons. Things we've done, things we've felt and knew, things we thought would come but never did. Things...people. People we know, knew; miss, missed; love, loved -- basically people of our past and present.

There was a memorable once. There were then another few times the lines blurred, but I set them bold in ink.

I need to start expecting.

"Nothing good ever happens after 2am"

Or so what How I Met Your Mother advocates.

Nope, I don't watch it, and no, I'm not going to be watching it anytime in the near future. No motivation to. But true enough, though my efficiency peaks around the same timeframe of 2AM to ungodly ~5AM, so do my emotional levels. It's the kind of timing you reminisce and find yourself missing every small memory, and wonder what you're doing with yourself -- even if life isn't currently all that bad.

I can't help it right now though. Had a Salted Caramel Frappe in the afternoon (it's on a 1-for-1 promo at Starbucks this entire week) and then some iced tea for dinner, and then, Tom N Tom's Caramel Macchiato at night. The overconsumption of caffeine never occured to me until insomnia kicked in.. It's 5AM now and I feel tired, but awake, albeit dazedly. I've refreshed all there is to refresh on Twitter, resorted to checking Facebook out, read several ThoughtCatalog articles and even watched an episode of a HK drama without audio. But nope, I'm still here, typing away.

Ok, blogging helps. I feel sleepy now. Goodnight ....or morning.

Dirty breaks

Everything needs getting used to. A new environment, new people to talk to, new things to do. At the same time, you've to get rid of the habits from your old environment, handle the absence of your previous daily companions, and stop missing those feelings you once had. Perhaps not entirely, but yeah.

It's hard to do. God pampered me in JC, and now I'm spoilt, slightly sad that things aren't going as smoothly. Here, there are so many things to cope with, time is such a scarce resource; you'd wish your closest friends were always by your side again. Uni life is so hectic that people rush and go -- classes are for paying attention, meetings are for focused discussion, meals are just for filling up your tummies... When did relationships become so hard to build?

I'm gonna admit, there's been a vague emptiness in me ever since school started. Of course, there are great people whom I have had the fortune to know, but there doesn't seem to be enough time for the bonds to fortify. Maybe I'm too impatient? Lol if only I could have them all be in the same classes as me.. Well until then, the emptiness is here to stay.