The moment you allow yourself to slide, you're gonna accelerate faster than you can control.
That's me right now: my emotions are a wreck, my work is undone, I'm just a boneless, souless mass. About the SMU Year 1 student who committed suicide and passed away, I feel for him. Nope, I'm not gonna do it too, I don't have the courage to. All I dare to do is run, run, run, run, run, run, run. Run. Run till I'm all exhausted, until my muscles cramp and refuse to work, until the tears roll past my face along with the wind.
Too bad I'm running away, not forward.
/
Too emo, sorry.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Ego
Aaaah okay instead of the hilarious snippet I just posted I shall have a proper post since I'm a little free.. Obviously there are things to do, but nah, they can wait till tomorrow while injecting life into my blog has to be done NOW.
Lol yeah. It's the end of Week 9 (funny how back in secondary school or JC I never even knew the month but now every week is so clear to me), one week closer to final terms. Nope, I'm not dreading it. Instead, all I wanna do is to get the remaining weeks over and done with, have my midterms, and then enjoy my nice long summer break. Did surprisingly o-kay for midterms, not as great as I expected myself to do before I entered uni, but well, shit happens right? But I have to also acknowledge that it's because I've yet to know how I'll do for BGS and Stats (no midterms, so gotta see how my quizzes fare) -- screwed up my BGS essay 'cause I left it till the end of Week 8 to do and I just had to fall sick, while Stats is yet to come!
I might just be adapting to uni life after all. Seeing things from another perspective helps; wow, I've grown huh? Hahahahahahaha. I do hate the work a lot, but the hate is beginning to place in me a mechanism to fight back. And through fights, one will grow. Just what I need; my state of mind has been stagnant for far too long.
But oh. On another note.
What does it mean when memories you've suppressed for so long start to revisit? Perhaps, hopefully, it means that I'm finally letting go of them. Hopefully.
#nowplaying Up - Epik High
Lol yeah. It's the end of Week 9 (funny how back in secondary school or JC I never even knew the month but now every week is so clear to me), one week closer to final terms. Nope, I'm not dreading it. Instead, all I wanna do is to get the remaining weeks over and done with, have my midterms, and then enjoy my nice long summer break. Did surprisingly o-kay for midterms, not as great as I expected myself to do before I entered uni, but well, shit happens right? But I have to also acknowledge that it's because I've yet to know how I'll do for BGS and Stats (no midterms, so gotta see how my quizzes fare) -- screwed up my BGS essay 'cause I left it till the end of Week 8 to do and I just had to fall sick, while Stats is yet to come!
I might just be adapting to uni life after all. Seeing things from another perspective helps; wow, I've grown huh? Hahahahahahaha. I do hate the work a lot, but the hate is beginning to place in me a mechanism to fight back. And through fights, one will grow. Just what I need; my state of mind has been stagnant for far too long.
But oh. On another note.
What does it mean when memories you've suppressed for so long start to revisit? Perhaps, hopefully, it means that I'm finally letting go of them. Hopefully.
#nowplaying Up - Epik High
You play too hard to get, bro
Some people argue that things are more rewarding when you're forced to pursue them. If you give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day; but if you obscure a fish stick by hiding it at the end of a maze, the man will go buy fish sticks at the grocery store because nobody cares about your dumb maze.HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HA
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
With you, friends
Shall blog since I can't concentrate very well right now. Tomorrow's my Economics exam, and as usual, my attention span is shorter than ever. Oh well, what can I do when it comes to subjects I dislike?
Anyway, I was just thinking about the friends I have. Was just learning from Lynette today what exactly the looking glass self concept we talk about in Sociology is about, and for the benefit of non-Soci students:
But as I was saying, I feel really grateful for the friends I have. They're always making me feel comfortable, and not to the point where it harms me (like condoning my misbehaviour or whatever). Sometimes, subconsciously, I honestly do get envious of groups I see doing "cool" stuff. But when I reflect upon it ...nah. I'm happy with the friends I have, doing our mundane stuff. Happiness isn't all about 'fun' or 'having a life', is it? Different groups have different dynamics, and I'm one of the chill ones. Though I get blinded by the flashy lives of others from time to time, when I close my eyes, what I see beyond the surface of my own life is contentment more than I could've ever asked for. (:
Anyway, I was just thinking about the friends I have. Was just learning from Lynette today what exactly the looking glass self concept we talk about in Sociology is about, and for the benefit of non-Soci students:
"(...) a person's self grows out of society's interpersonal interactions and the perceptions of others. The term refers to people shaping themselves based on other people's perception, which leads the people to reinforce other people's perspectives on themselves."Pretty legit if you think about it. Somehow we (or maybe just I) always end up proving people right, even if we try to deny it. The more we focus on it, the more likely for it to come true. Unless we're so dead set on opposing it, lol.
But as I was saying, I feel really grateful for the friends I have. They're always making me feel comfortable, and not to the point where it harms me (like condoning my misbehaviour or whatever). Sometimes, subconsciously, I honestly do get envious of groups I see doing "cool" stuff. But when I reflect upon it ...nah. I'm happy with the friends I have, doing our mundane stuff. Happiness isn't all about 'fun' or 'having a life', is it? Different groups have different dynamics, and I'm one of the chill ones. Though I get blinded by the flashy lives of others from time to time, when I close my eyes, what I see beyond the surface of my own life is contentment more than I could've ever asked for. (:
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