Bury me in your ashes.

There is only so much I can take. Usually my tolerance level is wider than the world, but when I'm sick, it's barely the size of a pea. I wish I could scream at you to stop torturing me, because I hate how the smell sears through my nose, how it clouds my thinking and makes it hard to breathe. Usually it's okay. But not when I'm sick. Please. Not when I have a deadline to meet and I just wish to get it over and done with, not when my head is pounding, not when I asked you to stop it yet you come out with a second stick, as if determined to sicken me. I don't know if you know that I won't scream. I can't scream.

I hate confrontations, because the only way I fight for me is through crying.

If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity

Some may find it intrusive, but I think it's good to have a hand yanking you back when you're so close to the edge. Falling off is.. scary.

When you fall, you don't die. Instead, you lose something in you, and it gets replaced by a haunting. This haunting consumes you like a poison from your insides, and changes you entirely in ways you'll never forget.

Thankfully though, you will make it through. But that journey was so hard alone, I'm sure I don't want anyone else to go through that again without some company.

I will bruise your arm if it saves your heart.

Still as night

I'm not sure why I think coming to my blog will help me stay awake, but I do. Have work to do yet I'm just procrastinating and dragging..... Sigh.

I think it's because this place is my best form of solace. What I can't put into speech I put into words, and words are almost always beautiful, I feel. 

There has just been a drastic change in my life. If you're wondering, no, no it's not bad. It's just a little disruptive I guess? To my usual laid-back, uncaring life. Not sure if it'll last, but I'll deal. People come and go, and I'm not one to try making them do otherwise.

Are meteors always bound to crash?

Happy things, beautiful things; they scare me.

I'M PROBABLY GONNA REGRET THIS

NOPE, NOT DRUNK, BUT I'M GOING TO TYPE THIS POST IN CAPS. BECAUSE I CAN. AND I WANT TO. AND THE BIRD ON THE TREE OUTSIDE IN ECHOING ITS WAIL(?) OVER AND OVER AND I HAVE SEVEN MORE CHAPTERS TO STUDY FOR MY TEST WHICH IS IN 5 HOURS AND THE AIR IS REALLY COLD AT THIS TIME DESPITE ME WEARING MULTIPLE LAYERS ON TOP OF DRINKING A CUP OF HOT COFFEE JUST NOW

COFFEE. I SEE WHY NOW. THIS IS WHAT A CUP OF COFFEE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AKA MIDNIGHT DOES TO YOU AFTER YOU HAVEN'T DRANK A DROP IN ... THREE MONTHS? OMG WHERE DID THESE MONTHS EVEN GO?????

DAMN

/edit: lost my mind to textbook monsters that night