Oh, when this passing life withers away, you come to me
The moment I touch your frozen heart, my life begins
When you’re tired and having a hard time
Please let me stay by your side
So I can give back to you the love I had only received
Before this life ends
When I get on my knees and cry before the world
When I stop my tracks inside the storm
If you alone are standing
I can handle this much pain and suffering
(If only you) If only you
(Are with me) Are with me in my life
When I lose my way inside the dark forest
When my young soul is crying
Guide me like a light, like a miracle
Before this life ends
When I get on my knees and cry before the world
When I stop my tracks inside the storm
If you alone are standing
I can suppress whatever pain and tears
(All I want is you) All I want is you
(Only one is you) Only one is you in my life
I won’t cry, I won’t cry again
Absolutely nothing can stop me
But only one person
You make me, you perfect me
Oh, you make me able to breathe like this
When I get on my knees and cry before the world
When I stop my tracks inside the storm
If you alone are standing
I can handle this much pain and suffering
(If only you) If only you
(Are with me) Are with me
When I get on my knees and cry before the world
When I stop my tracks inside the storm
If you alone are standing
I can suppress whatever pain and tears
(All I want is you) All I want is you
(Only one is you) Only one is you in my life
-
Defenses chipping, little by little.
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Sunday, August 21, 2011
"And I can't breathe without you, but I have to"
Man, my temper's been getting worse recently. I could blame it all on the stress again, but then I don't really know. Is it? I think there's more.
Hmm, I realized something a few days ago, and I don't know what to make out of it. I forgot someone's birthday. Not just someone someone, but someone. And I only realized now in August, over 3 months overdue. I'm not gonna talk much about it, but it confused me so badly. I don't know, really.
Anyway, that wasn't what I wanted to blog about. Idk why I'm so sensitive today, it's something I haven't experienced in a long time. During breakfast, I was experiencing severe wake-up grouchiness (I haven't woken up naturally for weeks already) and so I didn't really talk much. All of a sudden, I felt like I shouldn't, because I remembered how mad I was at my mom last Sunday for not eating our routine weekly family breakfast with us just cause she was supposed to be eating vegetarian. I wouldn't have minded eating with her, and yet she went off without us. It's petty of me, but I did reject my friend's offer to study earlier just for that, and... Yeah. I didn't wanna waste the precious family time. So, I attempted to join the conversation. My mom and oldest brother were talking about the presidential elections while everyone else was busy with something else, so I asked them who they were voting for. They heard me, they even gave me a momentary glance. And yet, the very next moment they continued talking as if I hadn't said anything at all. At that very moment, I was like Wtf? Like, really.. I even almost teared on the spot, but I held it in and I continued eating silently. Call it a silent surrender.
But as we left the restaurant, my mom made the initiative to talk to me. Maybe it was because my brother and his wife was busy with their daughter, maybe cause my second bro was buying something, maybe cause my dad left already, but I don't really know. I can't even remember what she said, but I remember how she gently tried to hold my hand, as if she had to seek permission, and I realized how long I hadn't held her hands already. I realized how big I've grown, and, how far apart we've drifted. I don't know... I gently held her hand back, but barely moments later we had to go, so we let go. But on the car, I thought about it, and.. I wish I could have continued holding on. I miss that, from my childhood.
Oh well.. I think I don't have the courage to do anything about it. I'm a wuss. It's all too bad.
Hmm, I realized something a few days ago, and I don't know what to make out of it. I forgot someone's birthday. Not just someone someone, but someone. And I only realized now in August, over 3 months overdue. I'm not gonna talk much about it, but it confused me so badly. I don't know, really.
Anyway, that wasn't what I wanted to blog about. Idk why I'm so sensitive today, it's something I haven't experienced in a long time. During breakfast, I was experiencing severe wake-up grouchiness (I haven't woken up naturally for weeks already) and so I didn't really talk much. All of a sudden, I felt like I shouldn't, because I remembered how mad I was at my mom last Sunday for not eating our routine weekly family breakfast with us just cause she was supposed to be eating vegetarian. I wouldn't have minded eating with her, and yet she went off without us. It's petty of me, but I did reject my friend's offer to study earlier just for that, and... Yeah. I didn't wanna waste the precious family time. So, I attempted to join the conversation. My mom and oldest brother were talking about the presidential elections while everyone else was busy with something else, so I asked them who they were voting for. They heard me, they even gave me a momentary glance. And yet, the very next moment they continued talking as if I hadn't said anything at all. At that very moment, I was like Wtf? Like, really.. I even almost teared on the spot, but I held it in and I continued eating silently. Call it a silent surrender.
But as we left the restaurant, my mom made the initiative to talk to me. Maybe it was because my brother and his wife was busy with their daughter, maybe cause my second bro was buying something, maybe cause my dad left already, but I don't really know. I can't even remember what she said, but I remember how she gently tried to hold my hand, as if she had to seek permission, and I realized how long I hadn't held her hands already. I realized how big I've grown, and, how far apart we've drifted. I don't know... I gently held her hand back, but barely moments later we had to go, so we let go. But on the car, I thought about it, and.. I wish I could have continued holding on. I miss that, from my childhood.
Oh well.. I think I don't have the courage to do anything about it. I'm a wuss. It's all too bad.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Rain rain
Nope, not in a particularly depressed or melancholic mood right now. But I was thinking, I don't even need someone who can accept my flaws. I don't need that type of consolation cause I think it leads to stagnation. I just wish, I had someone who knew me better than I know myself.
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