Addiction.

DISCLAIMER: Mental state currently unbalanced.

I seriously wanna scream. Or run away. Or put exclamation marks to all that I've typed thus far. AHHHHHHWCNHIUQWHCJWNICXIDJNCF and I wanna cry.

And now I suddenly wanna laugh. I'm really such a psycho, my mood swings from extreme to extreme and more often than not I don't think the same today as I did two days ago. I shall say this once and never say it again: Don't ever use what I once said against me, cause I probably don't mean them anymore.

Anyways reason for mentioning this and going mental all of a sudden is cause, I suddenly really don't want CCA to end anymore, contrary to the previous post. Today morning I woke up, determined to do my work, and I ended up in front of the TV for 3 hours. Then when I finally got to turning on my work computer to do my research, I ended up youtubing, tumblring, twittering (not tweeting, cause I was kind of only reading) and doing ANYTHING but researching. Okay, maybe I can blame the heat, but I know I should just blame myself.

And then I remembered my M'sian cousin who's staying at my house cause of his NUS interviews, so I decided I shouldn't go for trng and stay at home to help my mom be a good host instead.
Yeah, I did do that, but the extra time freed up should've been used on doing work too BUT I DIDN'T -.- Ok I'm really on the verge of going berserk. Every five minutes I told myself, okay I need to start work, but the moment I switch to my Microsoft Word window I open the browser again and do something else. I really hate this, it's like I keep thinking I have so much time so I can take my time and do it later, when in fact I don't.

During the past two weeks which have been packed thanks to A'divisions, I somehow did MORE work. There were days I didn't use the com (rare for the me of 2011) and I just did work until I'd fall asleep. But these 3 days of holidays just dissipated all sense of urgency in me.

I think I've a cyber addiction. How? Kpop. Okay, kpop addiction. Goodness, why won't this interest just fizz out and die like all the previous ones? It's been 4 months since it started. And there seems to be no sign of it ending, only escalating. Kill me..

(What makes it even worse is, if I had a choice, I would choose kpop over studies anytime. Thing is, I don't, that's why I'm struggling so bad. This is torturing every bit of my soul..)