Entranced

Okay wow, I haven't blogged for almost 3 weeks! Oh well. It's been a period of ups and downs.

For one, A's ended!!! Tbh I didn't feel much from it. Tbvh I didn't work my hardest for these exams. But, as I've told some, this is me and I'm pretty sure nothing would change even if I repeated the year, because it's not something I seek to achieve in. Well, I still feel less burdened of course, though. In exchange for the burden which was lifted, now I feel this need to be productive. To earn money in order to be self-sustainable, to write, to make up for moments I've let go or lost because of walling myself in the past months.

But, I feel empty. I don't know why. I feel alienated, I think. I've become much more emotionless after this period, people are beginning to baffle me. Why? Why let feelings control you, why let them screw you over? Maybe I need to clarify something; I'm not entirely emotionless, but (negative)emotion-less. I still laugh and get excited and all, but on the other end, I'm just empty. That's what I'm feeling right now, because there isn't anything spurring my positive emotions now. I'm just stagnant, baffled, forehead creased and frowning from this lack of negativity. Lol, should be a good thing, right? Rationally I'm happy, but I can't help but wonder if it's normal.

Then again, I realize there are some scary things I'm feeling.. Impatience, jealousy, inacceptance, contempt. It's really weird, lol. I'm becoming damn eccentric.

Okay anyway, lots of things went on these three weeks!

- Prom. It was freaking boring. Thankfully, post prom was alright because we (Calise Cindy Huixian Shiqi & I) had an adventure searching for Timbre@OldSchool and ended up it was after operating hours, so we bought coffee and juice and went to Shiqi's house LOL. So, while everyone was like, probably boozing at Zouk and dancing, we were getting caffeine and sugar highs while watching Crayon Shinchan HAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh! Melvin and Ivan also joined us at Shiqi's house, so the six of us shared an obedient and non-rebellious post-prom~

- Outings with friends. Went out with my childhood friends (Meixuan, Sherina, and Xinyi!), and so coincidentally we met another of our friends, Sam, at Clarke Quay. Went midnight k-ing, then drinking at Clarke Quay, then ate Macs at like 4am in the morning LOL. Also, went out with class clique (Cal, Cindy, Shiqi) for prom shopping. And then there was prom shopping and a simple dinner with Siaoyi, Vivien, Weiling, and days later Breaking Dawn (WHICH ISN'T THAT BAD WHAT LOL.) w Viv and Weiling ^--^ Lastly (yesterday) met up with Diondra to catch up and passed the SNSD bug to her hehehe <3

- SNSD CONCERT. Most epic concert in my life (tbh I haven't been to many lmao). Queued one day earlier, went through lots of drama with my brother whatwith the disputes over an unofficial queue some people were trying to set up (two of us were just onlookers to these, silently laughing at their immaturity and lack of rationality), and oh for the first time in my life I lay down by the streets and slept like a hobo. LOL. A fresh experience man, I must say. The next morning Huixian joined us and thankfully we managed to help her cut the queue with little trouble. We died queueing, with the pain of sitting down with no space to adjust yourself for HOURS, and then later on when it rained we had to stand for almost three hours. And when we finally got in, because we were in the standing pen, we had to stand for another three hours HAHHAHHA. But totally worth it, I regret nothing.

The girls were so beautiful in real life it's kind of ..dazzling. I was dazed for most of the concert because it's surreal, the lights, the effects, the dances, the real SNSD in front of my eyes and performing, laughing, playing around. I think I keep repeating this but for the sake of putting this in my blog so I can read back in future; Yoona pointed at my foam heart and laughed, while Tiffany stared at it and then eyesmiled at me. Okay, seriously, these girls are idols with like a million fans worldwide, and I managed to make eye contact with them... It's a dream come true for every SONE (SNSD's fans). Goodness.. What I would give to experience it all over again. They're not just pretty girls. People who hate them think they're just that. That's why they think nothing of them, even dislike them; hate them. But if you look past the surface to the personality (which should be the case for every human being, by the way. Yes, they're humans too), you'll see Taeyeon's inability to open up about her feelings beyond her cheerfulness (which I feel very much for), Jessica's friendliness beyond her cold exterior, Sunny's maturity beyond her act-cuteness, Tiffany's pain behind her dazzling smiles, Hyoyeon's insecurities beyond her hilariousity, Yuri's concern for her members beyond her overwhelming stage charisma, Sooyoung's meekness beyond her straightforwardness, Yoona's awfully endearingness beyond her godlike beauty, and Seohyun's wisdom beyond her silence and reserve.

Okay, I'm sorry for that.

I seem to know them more than I know my friends, huh..? Not really, I think. I guess I know more than I show, or at least, that's what I believe.

Yeah, okay. Shall go now, it's been too long a post. Byebye!