I've reached this point where I'm so busy I'm afraid to sleep. I'm so tired, exhausted, worn out, my eyelids are heavy and my brain's a mess, but I can't go to sleep because I have so much work to do. I can only allow myself to stare, even if I'm not getting anything done, eyes open but empty, terror-stricken by the impending hours that will swallow me whole again.
There are short windows of time where I'm granted an adrenaline rush that half feels like a panic attack, such as right now. I feel like crying, but I feel like I should use the energy to do work. And my mind seems to working better than ever, linking up things, to my detriment. The more aware you are, the more you realize you'd rather be oblivious.
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