Lost for words

Haha I've been really reluctant to blog lately. Oh well. Fell sick after going swimming on Sunday! ): Anyway, heard a song I haven't heard in a longggg time today, nostalgic much.

不知不觉 你已经离开我
不知不觉 我跟了这节奏
后知后觉 又过了一个秋
后知后觉 我该好好生活

Yup, all of a sudden, it's been one year! So many things have changed in this short lapse of time. Short, because there's been so much to do, and so much I've missed. There are so many things I've let go of, some which should have been long ago, and some which I should have held on tightly.
Nothing I can do anymore anyway.

I've become increasingly nonchalant with things too. Is this part of growing up? On Monday I went for my secondary school softball chalet, and I felt old there. The games didn't excite me as much as before, all I wanted to do was sleep (I'm serious) and I didn't care about attention anymore. Yup, I guesssss it's all part of growing up. But then again.. I feel like my nonchalance is making me indifferent about peoples' emotions. I no longer care as much.

Today, for the first time, I actually shook my mom's hand off when she tried to hook my arm. Even I was shocked by myself. I felt so guilty about it, but I didn't do anything. My mom then talked about something else like she didn't think much about it, and I hope she didn't either.. What is becoming of me? Selfish, self absorbed, self centred. The me of last year would never have been like that. What has become of me? ):