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Tomorrow's the first official 'schoolday'. Ahh, I seriously feel so ..depressed? Okay I think I'll describe it this way: I can feel the overwhelming sense of doom envelope me. I've never liked stress, no one does. But people don't understand how badly I hate it. My degree of detest for it as compared to other people is insane. If the average stress tolerance was like, 4~6 kinda value, mine would be around 10.

If school didn't have exams and learning+applying wasn't 'competitive', I would excel at it. But now, looking at the piece of assignment I have and thinking how well the other 7 ELL students are doing it; seriously turns me off like hell.

I wish I could stop comparing myself to others, but it's inevitable. We always talk about how we should just be doing our personal best and whatever, but it's a cruel and realistic world out there. Who cares a blah about your personal best when there's another better.

So yeah, I hate it. I hate competition. And I admit it, I hate learning; the society made me this way.