battered

i got past what would’ve been our seven year anniversary. i know you did too, but did you remember? it’s sad that even now that we’re over, i’m still hung up over whether you remember important milestones like this or not. i had a scheduled message that i set long ago, that was sent to me in january, to remind me of a present i had thought to get you for either our anniversary or your birthday. but instead it just reminded me of the heartbreak and loss. the book i’m reading now tells me people like me think that putting in all our effort in is necessary to keep relationships going. it implies relationships don’t need a 100% effort to keep going. i still can’t accept this. i put in 100% and i wanted 100% from you. isn’t it worth it? wasn’t it worth it? it was worth it for me. i would do it again, even now that i know putting in 100% still gives no guarantees.