eye of your storm

less than an hour goes by before i have to stop and steel myself over how i feel. for two weeks, we had a chance again, because you wanted. and now at the end of it, i’m left battered again. so are you, but this was your storm. your back and forth, fickleness, your insecurities, your pain. i stood in your rain and tried to put up an umbrella for once, but that incurred your heavenly wrath. now that i’ve decided to walk out, i find myself sick to the stomach. and even now some lightning bolts from your storm still find their way to me, in words you carefully craft but i don’t know whether are true. i don’t know what’s real anymore. i’m walking away but the water is in my lungs and my bones and i want to keel over and die.