I think I seriously can't face up to my conscience. Why do I keep torturing myself? I feel horrible when I'm trying to accomodate to everyone, and yet when I just try to desensitize myself, I feel too guilty.
I'm totally beyond cure.
Oh, right. I suddenly remembered what I thought before going to JC:
"I'm not going to get any close friends, no. I will just stay in my own world and be happy. I'll just focus on my own dreams and travel my journey alone. If I don't get any friends, I won't hurt anyone, and I'll stay unhurt. Everyone will be happier this way.."
I can't believe I forgot this. I feel like such a bitch nowadays.
我总是觉得我对不起自己的朋友。到底，这正不正常?
Everybody has issues. I guess I'm no different.
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