Someone said. "Love is like an addiction. When you get it, you enjoy it immensely. When you don't, you suffer severe withdrawal symptoms.. And then, you will only have yourself to depend on to kick this habit, this addiction."
It's pretty true, well, no one else can help you when you don't want to help yourself. But this is something I knew from the very start, it's just that I found this way of putting it more logical and meaningful. (: It was a good analogy.
And then there was this woman who was talking to her nephew, who stood up for her when other people badmouthed her, saying she was a prostitute kinda woman in the past, and that she was shameless. She said, "Well, that's the truth boy. Who doesn't have a past? I have to face mine no matter what. If I can't even do that, how do I face the future?"
I found this beyond insightful. It's something someone strong would say. It's something I think I wouldn't be able to. Okay, no. Maybe I would be able to say it, but I wouldn't be able to put it into actions. But yeah, everyone has a past, haha even me. Sounds dramatic, but it's the truth. But to tell of my story, would be something that would require ten lifetimes of courage. Maybe anonymously I would, only maybe.
Yup.
And oh, while going home today, Idk why I felt.. Foreign. Think I was too tired, and getting a little dreamy. I was almost oblivious to the people around me, all I could feel was that I didn't know them. I subconsciously knew where I was, of course, but in my mind it felt like I was in a new place. Like, if there was such a thing as 'the soul of Familiarity', it had been sapped away from me. Reaching home, I didn't feel much very at home either. Maybe I should say, "Reaching the house, I ..." My uncle's over to visit, and no I don't like him very much, I admit.
Maybe (only maybe), I feel this way cause I don't feel safe and secure anymore. No place offers me any sense of security and gives me my feeling of belonging, no place gives me a shelter from thunderstorms and a landing for emotion-spilling anymore. Not even home.
At least, and actually this is not very little -- I have God, and He is more than enough. He is my only solace and I seek consolation in Him.
To end off, here's a quote, from Jasmine to me on Twitter:
On the landing, you hear your foreign accent echo down the stairs. You think in a language of your own and talk in theirs. - Carol Ann Duffy (poet)Haha and something embarassing: At first she quoted the person as Duffy, and I thought it was the singer LOL. And I asked, "That's cool, is it a song by her?" *hides head like an ostrich*
Haha okay end of post. Good night!
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