Memory loss

Okay, so.... I promoted. This seemed impossible to me before, but these few days I kept hearing news about how the retainees would have been contacted, but I wasn't, so okay.. But I'm not happy. Of course, I don't want to retain, but I know I should have did. It doesn't make any sense to me that I got worse results and had poorer conduct than people, yet I promoted and they retained. I feel so guilty, I feel like shit. Life is unfair. So what, I'm a 4 H2s ELL student, vice-captain of floorball, with L1R5 10-2 then I get promoted? "The teachers promote you if they think your standard is there", okay, I do hope I prove this sentence right and live up to the people who might've gotten promoted if I didn't exist, yeah. Or else I'm just a wasted chance. God, I hope I make full use of it, please help me....

Then, today our class also got told by Mdm Ainon that she won't be following us up to J2. So we asked why. She said she had some medical condition and she's been delaying the surgery so as to not affect our studies.. and she apologized for always not being there for lessons and all. So she decided to request to not follow us up cause she felt she wouldn't be able to give us the proper education we needed. We didn't know the whole year. Ah and this is what we shallow people who judge her have said: that she's a lousy teacher, always slacking and not caring about us, and okay there's worse. See how we humans judge? We are SUCH BITCHES. I hate it! She's been so nice to us, to me especially. My perception of her changed the day she signed my reccomendation form for the Taiwan trip and wrote some super nice stuff there, even though she had been scolding my head off the entire first half of the year cause of latecomings and late assignments. I hate myself. Today she cried. I did too.

Alright, and then there's the people who are SO HELL SELF CENTRED they declare publicly how they've been promoted. HELLO, we all know somehow who retained so if you're not one of them you probably promoted and  so YOU ARE NOT THAT SPECIAL, OKAY? Instead, can you imagine how hurt a retainee would feel upon reading your facebook post or whatever? I am so angry, but okay none of these people are gonna see my scoldings over here so yeah. If any of 'you' do, and if you're unhappy, feel free to close this window, kthxbai. I really don't like how insensitive people are, or have become. I really don't understand this society.

So irritated. And just something random I wanna say: I don't show my true emotions.

And a heartbreaking video, wah nice song, though it's real old:
Haru Haru - Big Bang
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fO8F7lDhbAM&feature=fvst